Total Man Package: Mike Judge & The Museum of FART?
by Dan Murphy
In a bleak future from now (hey, the future is always from now), there is no water, all the plants are dying because they are only getting Gatorade and it's up to LUKE WILSON to save the world. MIKE JUDGE's Future World also has everyone eating junk food, garbage is omnipresent, the people are all totally stupid, and the Econo-may (Economy as the future President says) is in shambles. I know what you're thinking: it sounds just like Present Day. But this Mike Judge movie (still untitled) is supposedly set in the future.
Here is the plot outline from the Internet Data Movie Database. Private Joe Bowers (Luke Wilson), the definition of "average American," is selected by the Pentagon to be the guinea pig for a top-secret hibernation program set 1,000 years in the future. He discovers a society so incredibly dumbed-down that he's easily the most intelligent person alive.
Comments: Filming wrapped July 2, 2004
I worked on the film for three days in late May and early June. The first day I worked I was given instructions to show up at the Bob Bullock Museum for the "MUSEUM OF FART" scene. Apparently, there is going to be lots of bathroom humor in this movie. My Futuristic Basketball Costume Shirt had the Brand Name "FLATURIN" written on it with the phrase: "Hand To Mouth GOODNESS." Some other Extras had shirts that said, "NAS-TEA IT'S GOOD."
The rest of my outfit consisted of baggy basketball style shorts, hair with bandana and shoes. All Extras were also given a New World Order Bar Code on our wrists that had the number 666. There were a few other Extras dressed as police officers that looked like guys from the James Caan ROLLER BALL movie (1975) only without the skates and they had guns.
I must have drunk about a gallon of this Flaturin stuff and I thought they were going to have to dedicate a special section of the Museum of Fart to me. I told people who had problem with my Flaturin Flatulation to Zip It! or I'll start drinking Defacanin and give you something to really complain about.
By the way, how come Mike Judge gets all this praise and glory for all the human gas type humor he does? When I was in elementary school trying (I say trying because I could never get it to work) to make fart noises by putting one hand under my arm pit and cranking down with the other, all I got was disdain and this Judge guy is just Lauded. Life isn't fair. I digress again. Please no emails on how to get the arm farting thing to work.
The Museum Scene had us Extras roaming around aimlessly in sluggish manner with our jaws open to help us look stupid. Originally I was way off camera and more of a Background Extra for the other Extras. Then I got moved to the front of the scene where one of the stars of the film, MAYA RUDOLPH (from Saturday Night Live), walks right by me. They also had me put on a corduroy jacket. I was guided by one of the Assistant Directors to time my background walking behind her in the scene.
I don't remember exactly what Maya's line was. It had something to do with asking where the Museum was. Maybe. I don't remember Maya's line because she kept forgetting it. I'm not knocking her. She's definitely talented. It was just a good reminder to me that she's human like the rest of us.
I also recognized Mike Judge on the set sitting behind the camera. He was within a few feet of me at times, setting Maya for the scene and giving her some direction. So, it was nice to see some Pros at work.
My second time as an Extra for the film was in early June at the Old Palmer Auditorium. I played a Congressman. This outfit consisted of white long sleeves, blue shorts, and a blue velcro vest cut like a Pilgrim's.
Inside Palmer they had a large Green Screen and a set on the stage set up for the Future Congress. It looked similar to the present Congress you see on C-Span with some changes in Presidential Seals and there were Secret Service Guys standing by with machineguns.
This scene has President Comacho (TERRY CREWS) who looks like a James Brown bulked up Pro Wrestler in a red, white and blue uniform with a cape and big machinegun addressing Congress. Once again us Extras just stood around looking stupid. Then we get riled up when the Presidents speaks because it's more like an X-Rated Bible Revival than a Presidential Address.
For example, the President talks about getting his Pole Up (not Presidential Approval Polls his personal Package Pole), kicking a guy in the balls, etc.
I was so outraged at Mike Judge's disgraceful depiction of the Presidency that I decided to let him know how I felt. After lunch, the opportunity presented itself when Mike Judge was walking towards me alone. Keep in mind this was the same week former President Ronald Reagan was being honored.
I told Judge in a serious demeanor, "If Ronald Reagan saw what you have done to the Presidency, he'd be rolling in his grave." I also berated him for not having his FLAIR ON! Ronald Reagan wouldn't let someone into the White House without a jacket or his FLAIR ON and Mike Judge's President is wearing a DAMNED CAPE!
Yes, I really said these things to Mr. Judge. Fortunately, he laughed about it and knew immediately that I was kidding. Mike Judge wasn't standoffish at all with the Extras. He wasn't hiding in some back room when not shooting. He seems like a very nice person. Coincidentally, RON LIVINGSTON (Office Space, Band of Brothers, Swingers, etc) just came out on the John McEnroe Show this evening. He's talking about Office Space, Beavis & Butthead, and Mike Judge.
In the future, shoes also suck. All sizes are too small and they cut your feet up. I'm not exaggerating. The crew was providing us band-aids for our wounds. I got the largest size shoes they had and they were still too small. Also, in the future no one wears socks, which helped aggravate the situation. The shoes were US Flag designs with red stripes, white stars, and blue background. The shoe brand was DADA Supremes by Chris Webber. I thought they had the shoes made for the movie because I'd never seen them before. I guess I'm not that hip.
There is one incredible positive in the future. NO ONE IS BALD! God what a miracle! Several Extras who were bald or receding were required to wear cheap curly haired wigs. My confidence got a major boost when I was told I didn't have to wear a wig. I guess my hairline hasn't receded that much yet. The makeup lady did have to dye my sideburns to make them darker.
The third time I worked on the film was at the Austin Studios at the old airport. I played a crowd Extra in the future basketball outfit on Pennsylvania Avenue. The President drives down the street in his Motorcycle Chopper Machine followed by a militarized, Capital Metro bus with a gun turret on top. There was a rundown Replica of the White House and it looked like a Ruined Frat House with junk on the lawn.
WAIT A DAMN MINUTE! I'm retracting my opening statements. Everyone is wearing baggy clothes, is stupid, there's a bad economy, and everyone is drinking abundant amounts of Gatorade. This isn't a horrible movie about the future. It is a Satire about Present Day America. I should have been able to figure this out sooner, but I've been drinking nothing but Gatorade for years.
Next Month: PHASERS ON STUN! The TMP joins STAR TREK! Yes, anything is Possible, but is anything likely? Think about it.
Take Care! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!